Some big news here on the Western, ahem, south-eastern front. I am pregnant! We've been trying for a while, I was starting to wonder, especially since I'm marching my way steadily to 40, but two tests have come up with the plus sign. First doctor visit is Feb. 12. Yippie!
I am quite excited, and my voice (that inner one) is telling me to not white knuckle my way through it so I'm gonna listen.
There are a few factors for stress- what about moving? Where will Jack go to school next year? Should we go ahead and move to NC or stay here and move back towards Charleston? What about school? There's lots to think about, and so much to be grateful for that I will concentrate on the later and let the former dance by itself for a while.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Happy Birthday to my brother
Today is my "little" brothers birthday- he's 30! I can't believe it. I still remember when they brought him home from the hospital and the first thing he did was almost pee on me. He is an amazing man and father- I hope the rest is as good as the past several years have been.
It is freezing here today! My feet are like little blocks of ice, and my hands are pretty cold too! Jack has gone to spend the morning with Nana and Pop so I have some free time. He has been so well behaved the past few days- it has been quite a relief.
The beginning of this year has been a relief pretty much altogether- I am finally figuring out that I want to manage my life, not let it manage me. I know, I would think that would have been figured out by almost 40, but there's no time like the present.
My new favorite quite comes from a book Jack got for Christmas. "Willpower is trying really hard NOT to do something you really want to do."
It is freezing here today! My feet are like little blocks of ice, and my hands are pretty cold too! Jack has gone to spend the morning with Nana and Pop so I have some free time. He has been so well behaved the past few days- it has been quite a relief.
The beginning of this year has been a relief pretty much altogether- I am finally figuring out that I want to manage my life, not let it manage me. I know, I would think that would have been figured out by almost 40, but there's no time like the present.
My new favorite quite comes from a book Jack got for Christmas. "Willpower is trying really hard NOT to do something you really want to do."
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Happy New Year
Ah, what a lovely day. A fine start to an exciting new year. Lots of things will change this year, and some will stay the same. Profound, I know. My resolution is to stop using curse words- although they can come in handy in comedy situations.
We got up and had some hot oat bran cereal with strawberries (Jack managed to eat 9 of them before the cereal was cooked! Some green parts, too!) Jonathan put away the Christmas decorations while I cleaned in the kitchen and the spare room. We had yummy pita burgers for lunch and Jonathan met Mimi and Papa to buy our lovely new computer.
The biggest and best thing that happened all day was Jack's new calendar. We set 3 goals for January (I know, how "What Color is Your Parachute?" of me) and agreed that smily face stickers showed good behavior, "X" shows bad. If we get to Sunday and he hadn't been sent home from school then we have candles, music, dancing and dessert with dinner. I hope this works- his cranky self centered 3 year old-ness is making my nerves shake and stretch.
No drinks today. My goals for January:
1. Grocery once a week
2. Save $300
3. Run 4x a week
Happy New Year!
We got up and had some hot oat bran cereal with strawberries (Jack managed to eat 9 of them before the cereal was cooked! Some green parts, too!) Jonathan put away the Christmas decorations while I cleaned in the kitchen and the spare room. We had yummy pita burgers for lunch and Jonathan met Mimi and Papa to buy our lovely new computer.
The biggest and best thing that happened all day was Jack's new calendar. We set 3 goals for January (I know, how "What Color is Your Parachute?" of me) and agreed that smily face stickers showed good behavior, "X" shows bad. If we get to Sunday and he hadn't been sent home from school then we have candles, music, dancing and dessert with dinner. I hope this works- his cranky self centered 3 year old-ness is making my nerves shake and stretch.
No drinks today. My goals for January:
1. Grocery once a week
2. Save $300
3. Run 4x a week
Happy New Year!
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Really, really, really...
I was watching Elizabeth Gilbert on Oprah and this phrase really started me to thinking. By the way, EG is a fantastic woman who shines so brightly... I too shine and will get brighter.
So, the question is, WHAT DO YOU REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT?
1. some religion. my teacher is out there, I just have to get quiet enough to hear.
2. I really want to not drink, at all.
3. I really want to find the patience to be with my son- to slow down enough to enjoy the simple things he loves to do.
4. I really want to move from here, this is not my home.
5. I want to run a marathon.
6. I want to go to France.
7. I want a home in the country/mountains where I can be free to be me.
8. I want to be sucessful as a therapist/walking therapist.
9. I want to grow my own veggies.
10. I want to find the patience to meditate, to slow down and listen to my inner voice.
11. I want to stop all the self doubt and constant questioning- I am forever doubting the decisions I make, always beating myself up, changing scenarios, constant noise in my head.
12. I want to own a pair of cowboy boots.
13. I want to cut my hair.
14. I want to have 3 more children.
15. I want the confidence to be sexual, not ashamed.
16. I want some lunch, right now I'm hungry.
So, the question is, WHAT DO YOU REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT?
1. some religion. my teacher is out there, I just have to get quiet enough to hear.
2. I really want to not drink, at all.
3. I really want to find the patience to be with my son- to slow down enough to enjoy the simple things he loves to do.
4. I really want to move from here, this is not my home.
5. I want to run a marathon.
6. I want to go to France.
7. I want a home in the country/mountains where I can be free to be me.
8. I want to be sucessful as a therapist/walking therapist.
9. I want to grow my own veggies.
10. I want to find the patience to meditate, to slow down and listen to my inner voice.
11. I want to stop all the self doubt and constant questioning- I am forever doubting the decisions I make, always beating myself up, changing scenarios, constant noise in my head.
12. I want to own a pair of cowboy boots.
13. I want to cut my hair.
14. I want to have 3 more children.
15. I want the confidence to be sexual, not ashamed.
16. I want some lunch, right now I'm hungry.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
running on... WE ROCK! rules...
I went for a run for the first time in what seems like a long time- but I think I did manage to go once last week...or was it the week before? That's me in all black running in my first race in October. Woo hoo me!
I look forward to a break from school so I can get back into a running routine again. I was thinking of rules I would like to make for myself... things I have to do every day. Here's what I came up with...
1. Wake with gratitude. find things to be grateful for all day. remind yourself how lucky you are and that, as Jack would say, "we have everything we need." Find time to meditate.
2. Eat well. meat rarely, no dairy, juice 2X a day. Chew food thouroughly. Be mindful of food choices and reasons why you're eating. Are you hungry, bored, worried? No eating 3 hours beore bedtime.
3. Run 5X per week. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday. Make sure to stretch. Before and after.
4. Open your heart to people and new experiences. Be positive.
5. Choose happiness. Don't get bogged down with the future. Choose to live in this day.
6. Kindness is contagious. Show genuine kindness and concern for others. Be compassionate. Be kind to yourself- and listen to what your inner voice has to say. And then obey. Don't push that voice down...it's you! Listen!
These rules spell... WE ROCK!
Monday, November 26, 2007
poem for today
I thought I'd write
a poem for today.
nothing too complicated, like how if I were a parabola you could tell if I was going up or down whether or not I was negative or positive...
nothing too simple like moo boo hoo
I'm much too complex for such elementary schemes...
now that I'm writing this poem for today
all I really want to do is take a nap.
a poem for today.
nothing too complicated, like how if I were a parabola you could tell if I was going up or down whether or not I was negative or positive...
nothing too simple like moo boo hoo
I'm much too complex for such elementary schemes...
now that I'm writing this poem for today
all I really want to do is take a nap.
Patience grasshopper
I am running out of patience. Patience with myself and patience with Jack. The only person I don't feel frustrated with is Jonathan. Lucky man.
After completing my 3 day juice fast (almost- I had fried rice and wine Wed. night.) I felt pretty good. I think I'd like to do a brown rice/juice fast next time. After the end of the semester I'd like to do 7 days of that. Kind of a twisted reward.
Today I am tired and cannot get motivated. But I'm glad it's a new week.
After completing my 3 day juice fast (almost- I had fried rice and wine Wed. night.) I felt pretty good. I think I'd like to do a brown rice/juice fast next time. After the end of the semester I'd like to do 7 days of that. Kind of a twisted reward.
Today I am tired and cannot get motivated. But I'm glad it's a new week.
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